Monat: Januar 2015

What will you be doing instead?

We developers have a great job: We get to write those pieces of code, that make everything so easy and cool. Things you don’t want to do, or that took you weeks, can now be done with the the click of a button. But how often do we think about what you gonna be doing instead?

The definition of a good friend

The definition of friends and their quantification can be very different: Someone may use the definition of “friend” as free as a social networking website, and claim hundreds of friends. Someone else might say, he does not have any friends.

I think both are in some extend wrong: Someone I know isn’t automatically a friend and I think for everyone there are always others out there that are at least willing to be friends.

I recently had a look around in my own (real life) “social network”. And I must say, I have some very unique people there, that love me the way I am; people that have a interest in my well-being, people that accept all my craziness, people that let me be a part of their life.

But friendship is bidirectional: And I asked myself for whom I am doing the same. Thinking more about it, another question came up: Who do I trust? I must confess, the last was quite a difficult one, as I can be very protective in some areas of my personal life and don’t grant to many people a full, universal trust. But I realized that this is quite an important value for having and being a good friend.

There are a lot of wonderful people I know, so many. And quite a lot of them are ‘friends’ I love to hang out with, have fun and enjoy having them around. But when it comes to having a “good old true friend”, I must say, there is a very limited set of these. These people take me serious in all my silliness, share their thoughts and fears with me, aren’t afraid to tell their honest opinion (even if it hurts). listen to me and are there when I need to count on them.

The funny thing is: They were there and that way, even when I couldn’t see it; when I just put them in the group with all the other people I know. And just recently I realized how comfortable I am around these special few; how lucky I am to have them. And I let go, and had that trust that was trying all this time to form naturally go and stopped holding it back. I let go of all my fears. And it’s a wonderful feeling to live these friendships.

I wish everyone on this world has such wonderful persons around him/her. And if you think you do not, I encourage you to have a closer look: Don’t mind how, where and when you met that friend, how different the interests and opinions are, the age difference, the distance… Who do feel most natural  around, where do you feel this base for a natural trust, what person do you enjoy to talk to, who is always there for you? I bet there is someone out there for everyone.

Let that instinct you already had as a child come back and see who you would ask “Do you wanna be best friends?”. And if you are unsure, why not ask just that question?

Return the trust and strengthen the friendship, it’s totally worth it!